Do Long Distance Relationships Work? What the Research Says

Do long distance relationships work?

Yes. Research shows that about 58% of long distance relationships succeed, which is comparable to geographically close relationships. A 2013 study in the Journal of Communication found that LDR couples often report equal or greater levels of intimacy than couples who live near each other. Success depends less on distance and more on communication, trust, and having a plan to eventually close the gap.

Table of Contents

1. What the research actually says
2. Success rates and statistics
3. Why some long distance relationships work
4. Why some fail
5. What successful LDR couples do differently
6. The role of technology
7. Frequently asked questions
8. Final thoughts

What the Research Actually Says

If you search "does long distance relationship work," you'll find a mix of pessimistic takes and overly optimistic advice. The actual research is more nuanced.

A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy examined 1,142 people in their twenties and found surprisingly few differences between long distance relationships and geographically close ones on measures of relationship quality. Both groups reported similar levels of satisfaction, commitment, and trust.

Another study in the Journal of Communication found that long distance couples often develop deeper emotional intimacy than nearby couples. The researchers suggested this happens because LDR couples have to be more intentional about communication. They can't rely on physical presence, so they talk more meaningfully.

This doesn't mean distance is good for relationships. It means distance isn't automatically bad. What matters is how you handle it.

Success Rates and Statistics

Here's what the numbers show:

Overall success rate: About 58% of long distance relationships succeed, according to a study of 1,000 Americans. This is roughly comparable to relationships where partners live close to each other.

How many couples are doing this: Around 14 million couples in the United States are currently in long distance relationships. About 3.75 million of those are married couples living apart.

College relationships: 75% of college students report having been in a long distance relationship at some point. About a third of all LDRs are college relationships.

Breakup comparison: Several studies have found no significant difference in breakup rates between LDRs and geographically close relationships. Distance alone doesn't predict whether you'll stay together.

The end date factor: Couples who have a concrete plan to close the distance are 30% more likely to stay together than those without a timeline.

If you're unsure what counts as a long distance relationship, most researchers define it as any relationship where partners can't see each other daily due to geographic separation.

Why Some Long Distance Relationships Work

Research points to several factors that predict success:

Trust

About 85% of successful LDR couples cite trust as the foundation of their relationship. This makes sense. When you can't see what your partner is doing, you have to believe they're being honest with you.

Trust in LDRs isn't blind faith. It's built through consistent behavior over time. Doing what you say you'll do. Being where you say you'll be. Answering when you say you'll answer.

Communication quality

Successful LDR couples don't just communicate more. They communicate better. Research shows that while long distance couples may talk less frequently than nearby couples, their conversations tend to be more meaningful and self-revelatory.

This happens out of necessity. You can't fill silence with physical presence, so you learn to talk about things that matter.

Having an end date

One of the strongest predictors of LDR success is having a plan to eventually live in the same place. Couples with a timeline are significantly more likely to make it than couples with no concrete plan.

The end date doesn't have to be soon. It just has to exist. Knowing the distance is temporary makes it easier to endure.

Shared goals

Couples who succeed long distance usually have reasons beyond the relationship itself. Career goals, education, family obligations. The distance serves a purpose they both understand and support.

When both partners see the separation as a means to an end rather than just something to survive, it changes how they approach it.

Why Some Fail

Long distance relationships fail for specific, predictable reasons:

Lack of planning

About 70% of LDR breakups happen because of unplanned changes or lack of planning for the future. Couples who never discuss when or how they'll close the gap often drift apart.

If you're in an LDR with no end in sight and no plan to create one, that's a problem worth addressing.

Communication breakdown

Ironically, some LDR couples talk constantly but never about anything real. Checking in isn't the same as connecting. Couples who stick to surface-level updates often feel increasingly disconnected despite frequent contact.

Jealousy and insecurity

Studies show that 21% of long distance couples report issues with cheating, compared to 13% of geographically close couples. Whether this reflects actual higher rates of infidelity or just increased suspicion is unclear.

What is clear: jealousy and insecurity cause problems regardless of whether they're justified. If you spend your time worrying about what your partner is doing, the relationship becomes exhausting for both of you.

Growing apart

People change. When you don't share daily life, you might not notice those changes until they've created real distance. Interests shift, priorities evolve, and suddenly you realize you're not as compatible as you were.

This happens in all relationships, but LDR couples have fewer opportunities to adapt together in real time.

What Successful LDR Couples Do Differently

Based on research and patterns from couples who make it work:

They schedule communication

Successful couples don't just talk when they feel like it. They have regular times to connect, whether that's a morning text routine, nightly calls, or weekend video dates.

Structure matters because life gets busy. Without a schedule, communication becomes the thing that gets pushed aside.

They create shared experiences

Watching the same movie simultaneously. Playing online games together. Reading the same book and discussing it. Cooking the same recipe during a video call.

These shared activities create common ground that goes beyond talking about your separate lives.

They send things

Physical objects that cross the distance. Care packages, thoughtful gifts, handwritten letters. Something tangible that says "I was thinking about you."

Research suggests that physical reminders of your partner help regulate emotional distress during separation.

They visit when possible

Face-to-face time matters. Successful LDR couples prioritize visits even when they're expensive or inconvenient. They see visits as investments in the relationship rather than luxuries.

They have honest conversations about the hard stuff

Loneliness, jealousy, frustration, doubt. Couples who acknowledge these feelings and talk about them tend to handle the distance better than couples who pretend everything is fine.

The Role of Technology

Technology has changed what's possible in long distance relationships. A generation ago, you had phone calls and letters. Now you have video calls, instant messaging, shared calendars, location sharing, and apps built specifically for long distance couples.

Research shows that LDR couples send an average of 343 texts per week and spend about 8 hours on calls or video chat. That level of contact wasn't possible before smartphones.

But technology is a tool, not a solution. Video calls can't replace physical presence. Texting all day doesn't guarantee emotional connection. The couples who succeed use technology to enhance their communication, not substitute for it.

Some helpful tech habits from successful couples:

• Video calls for important conversations (tone and facial expressions matter)
• Texting for quick check-ins and sharing small moments
• Shared photo albums for feeling included in daily life
• Countdown apps for maintaining excitement about visits
• Watch party extensions for movie nights together

The goal is using technology to feel present in each other's lives, not just to monitor each other.

Frequently Asked Questions

What percentage of long distance relationships work?

About 58% of long distance relationships succeed, according to research. This is similar to the success rate of geographically close relationships. The key factors are trust, communication quality, and having a plan to eventually close the distance.

How long can a long distance relationship last?

There's no set limit. Some couples maintain LDRs for years and end up together. The average length before either closing the distance or breaking up is about 2.5 years, but this varies widely depending on circumstances.

Are long distance relationships harder?

In some ways, yes. The lack of physical contact is difficult, and you miss out on the small daily moments that build intimacy. But research from Psychology Today suggests LDR couples often develop stronger communication skills and report high levels of emotional intimacy.

Do long distance relationships work in college?

They can. About 75% of college students have been in an LDR, and many work out. The challenges are real though: new environments, new people, personal growth happening separately. Success usually requires extra effort to stay connected and grow together despite being apart.

What's the hardest part of a long distance relationship?

Most couples say it's the lack of physical contact. 66% of LDR couples cite this as their biggest challenge. Missing everyday moments comes second. The loneliness and missing your partner physically doesn't fully go away, but it does become more manageable with time and good coping strategies.

Final Thoughts

Does long distance relationship work? The honest answer: it can.

The research is clear that distance alone doesn't doom a relationship. Plenty of couples make it through months or years of separation and end up stronger. The success rate is comparable to relationships where partners live in the same city.

But distance does require intention. You can't coast in an LDR. The couples who succeed treat staying connected as a priority rather than an afterthought. They communicate meaningfully, visit when they can, make plans for the future, and find ways to share experiences despite the miles.

If you're in a long distance relationship or considering one, the question isn't whether LDRs can work. They can. The question is whether you and your partner are willing to put in the effort to make yours work.

The distance is temporary. What you build during this time doesn't have to be.

Stay Connected

Daily habits matter more than occasional grand gestures. Small, consistent ways of showing up for each other add up over time.

FeelClose helps long distance couples stay connected with countdown timers, daily questions, and simple nudges that let your partner know you're thinking of them.

Download FeelClose free on iOS to try it out.