What is Considered a Long Distance Relationship? The Definition

What is considered a long distance relationship?

A long distance relationship is any relationship where geographic separation makes regular in-person contact difficult. While some researchers use 100 miles as a threshold, there's no official definition. The real test is whether you can spontaneously see each other. If visiting requires significant planning, travel, or expense, you're probably in an LDR.

Table of Contents

1. The simple definition
2. Is there a specific number of miles
3. The spontaneous visit test
4. Types of long distance relationships
5. Who is in long distance relationships
6. Does the distance matter
7. Frequently asked questions
8. Final thoughts

The Simple Definition

A long distance relationship is an intimate relationship between partners who are geographically separated. The key word is "separated" in a way that affects how often you can see each other.

If you live in different cities, different states, or different countries, you're in a long distance relationship. If your partner is across town but you see them every day, you're not.

The definition isn't really about distance. It's about access. How easy is it for you to be physically together?

Is There a Specific Number of Miles

There's no universally agreed number, but researchers and surveys have landed on some common thresholds:

100 miles is the most commonly cited minimum. At this distance, visiting requires real effort: a two-hour drive, planning ahead, taking time off work.

125 miles is the average distance between partners in LDRs, according to surveys. About the distance from Pittsburgh to Cleveland.

Here's how distance tends to break down:

Distance	What it means
Under 50 miles	Usually not considered LDR, can see each other regularly
50-100 miles	Gray zone, depends on circumstances
100-500 miles	Clearly LDR, but visits are manageable
500-1000 miles	Visits become expensive and less frequent
Over 1000 miles	Often international, visits are rare

But these numbers don't tell the whole story. A 50-mile separation might feel like nothing to someone with a car and flexible schedule. It might feel impossible to a college student without transportation.

Context matters more than miles.

The Spontaneous Visit Test

Here's a better way to know if you're in a long distance relationship:

Can you say "I'm coming over tonight" and actually do it?

If the answer is no, if seeing your partner requires booking travel, requesting time off, or spending significant money, you're in an LDR.

This test accounts for all the variables that pure distance doesn't capture:

• Transportation access
• Work schedules
• Financial constraints
• Border crossings
• Time zone differences

Two people living 80 miles apart with cars and flexible jobs might not be in a long distance relationship. Two people living 40 miles apart without cars might be.

The question isn't how far. It's how hard.

Types of Long Distance Relationships

Not all LDRs look the same. The challenges and dynamics vary depending on circumstance.

Same country, different cities

The most common type. You're a few hours apart by car or a short flight. Visits are possible every few weeks or once a month. You share a time zone, making communication easier.

Different countries

International LDRs add complexity: visas, passport requirements, expensive flights, significant time zone differences. Visits might happen only a few times a year.

Temporary separation

One partner moved for work, school, or military deployment. There's a known end date when you'll be together again. This type is often easier to manage because the timeline is clear.

Indefinite separation

No clear plan for when or if you'll close the distance. This type requires the most intention and communication. Research shows couples with no end date struggle more than those with a plan.

Long distance from the start

You met online or while traveling. You've never lived in the same place. The relationship was long distance from day one.

Each type has its own challenges, but the research shows they can all work with the right approach.

Who is in Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships are more common than you might think.

14 million couples in the United States are currently in long distance relationships.

3.75 million of those are married couples living apart.

75% of college students report having been in a long distance relationship at some point.

25-50% of college relationships are long distance at any given time, according to research from EBSCO.

Common reasons couples end up long distance:

• Work (job relocations, travel-heavy careers)
• Education (college in different cities, graduate school)
• Military (deployments, station assignments)
• Immigration (visa processing, waiting for approval)
• Family obligations (caring for relatives)
• Met online (never lived in same location)

The reasons vary, but the experience of managing distance is shared across all these situations.

Does the Distance Matter

You might assume that more distance means a harder relationship. The research suggests it's more complicated than that.

A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found no significant difference in relationship quality between couples at various distances. Whether you're 100 miles apart or 1,000, the challenges are similar.

What does matter:

Frequency of visits

Couples who see each other regularly, even if briefly, tend to do better than couples who go months without meeting. The exact distance matters less than how often you bridge it.

Quality of communication

All long distance couples face the same need to communicate intentionally. Whether you're two hours apart or twelve time zones apart, you have to make conversation count.

Having an end date

Couples who know when the distance will end handle it better than couples with no plan. The specific distance doesn't change this; the uncertainty does.

Individual circumstances

Your resources matter. Couples with money for frequent flights handle long distance differently than couples scraping together bus fare. The same 500 miles feels different depending on what you have to work with.

The bottom line: once you're past the threshold where spontaneous visits aren't possible, the specific number of miles matters less than how you handle the situation.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is 2 hours apart considered long distance?

It depends. A two-hour drive that you can make on weekends might not feel like long distance. But if work schedules, costs, or other factors make that drive rare, then yes, it's long distance. The test is whether you can see each other regularly without significant planning.

Is 1 hour apart a long distance relationship?

Usually not. Most people don't consider an hour apart to be long distance because regular visits are still feasible. But context matters. An hour apart without a car or with demanding schedules might feel like long distance.

How far apart do you have to live to be in a long distance relationship?

There's no official cutoff. Researchers often use 100 miles, but the real answer is: far enough that you can't easily see each other on a regular basis. If visiting requires significant planning or expense, you're in an LDR.

Can long distance relationships work?

Yes. Research shows about 58% of long distance relationships succeed, which is comparable to geographically close relationships. Success depends more on communication, trust, and having a plan than on the specific distance.

What's the hardest distance for a relationship?

There's no evidence that a specific distance is harder than others. Once you're past the point of easy, regular visits, the challenges are similar whether you're 200 miles apart or 2,000. What's harder is not having a plan to eventually close the gap.

Final Thoughts

What is considered a long distance relationship? Any relationship where distance creates a barrier to regular in-person contact.

The specific miles don't define you. What matters is how you handle the separation. Couples 100 miles apart face similar challenges to couples 1,000 miles apart: staying connected, building trust, making plans for the future.

If you're wondering whether your relationship "counts" as long distance, it probably does. And that's okay. Millions of couples navigate this successfully. The distance is a circumstance to manage, not a verdict on your relationship.

Whether you're a two-hour drive apart or an ocean apart, the principles are the same: communicate well, visit when you can, and have a plan. The couples who do those things tend to make it, regardless of the miles between them.

Stay Connected

Distance is a logistics problem, not a relationship problem. The right tools and habits make it manageable.

FeelClose helps long distance couples stay connected with countdowns to your next visit, daily questions to spark real conversations, and simple ways to show you're thinking of each other. Check out the features or give it a try.

Download FeelClose free on iOS to get started.